I'm freaking out

I am freaking out about a bunch of stuff lately. Here is the following list:

* money
* my house is too small
* there is some much to do how are we going to get it all done
* I'm not going to know what to do with a baby
* being a working mom
* getting skinny after having a baby
* I have no idea what to register for

That is just some of them. I have money in the bank. Some would say that with the amount I have, I shouldn't worry but then I start to think about paying quarterly taxes, property taxes and then being off for three months, I freak out. I need to start thinking positively about this but it's stressing me out. Things always work out. I have PTO, short term disability.

My house isn't too small. We just need to utilize space better. Like my husband really needs to organize his office. I think when he's gone to Eugene, I'm going to purge and organize it because I've nagged him for weeks about it.

Anyway, I think the keep is to sit down and make a list of things we need to get done and just start tackling it now. Maybe I will do it and post for my motivation and for public flogging.

Week 13

I can't belive it but I'm at week 13. Week 14 marks the start of the 2nd trimester and I couldn't be more excited for next Friday. Overnight something happened -- my belly popped out. I'm still looking fat, not pregnant but you'll have to wait until Sunday to see it. Lil Berger is the size of a medium shrimp.

I'm still mostly tired and sometimes when I eat, I feel sick. I am having aversions to meat too. I'm always hungry. It's mostly annoying more than anything. My sleeping is great but sometimes interrupted by bathroom trips. I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow.

I've been seeking advice from new mothers on breastfeeding. I'm really leaning toward not breastfeeding since I'll be a working mom but I also want to bond with my baby as well as have Brian bond. Maybe I will and pump so he can be involved.

The best advice I've received this week is to stop reading baby books because they'll just scared you most people say. I have to agree with that theory.

You touchy, I bitey...

I was invited by a colleague to a focus group for pregnant women tonight. As tired as I was from working all day, I couldn't let my colleague down and attended. The focus was on funny t-shirts for expectant mothers and if you'd buy them and if you did, what style would you buy. The shirts are pretty freaking hilarious but if you know me, I've been trying to find some sassy knocked-up shirt for months and I think I found the perfect place for that snarkiness... jestations.

Jestations is owned by two Bend women -- Lisa and Kathy. Their bio on their website reads:

After trimesters of rude comments, unsolicited advice and belly-rubs that would annoy even Buddha, we had it up to here with hearing how we’re out to there. Fueled by a dangerous cocktail of hormones and prenatal vitamins, we embarked on a journey to fulfill every pregnant woman’s dream (outside of a nine-month epidural or an endless supply of ice cream, that is): T-shirts that pre-empt—or at least answer—irritating pregnancy comments and advances. We employed our expertise in graphic design and copywriting, natural propensity for snarkiness and affection for great quality clothing and, lo, a business was born. We’re pleased that our bouncing baby business is thriving. Almost as pleased as knowing we’ve helped fend off at least a few pregnancy annoyances.

this is my favorite shirt of all.


The cool thing about the focus group was that I got to hear advice from women about their other experiences and I made notes of biodegradable diapers, books about making baby food and got reassurance that it's ok to eat meat that's cooked medium (because you all know a former Nebraskan isn't going to eat a WELL DONE STEAK). We all bonded too. I can't wait for all the classes I have to take so I can talk to other women. Of course, I can bend the ear of my friends who are mothers but it's fun to talk to first time pregnant mothers as well.

But alas, I'm tired and it's 9:22 p.m. -- way past my bedtime. Time to hit the pillow for some much needed shut eye

Oh what a relief

Today I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to do something about my bra which was digging into my skin so I had to go buy extenders. Oh, what a relief. No more digging into my skin. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I feel so much better.

Taming the temper

The hormones are making me have a temper. Along with that, I'm a little more impatient than usual and the stupiest things set me off. And drama that doesn't even involve me, I worry about. Thanks a lot, hormones.

I'm constantly hungry too. This is getting really annoying because I bring food to work and it's not enough. Right now I'm craving fried chicken and jalapeño poppers. Neither of which are in my possession and would require me to get in the car and head to Fred Meyer. I'm in comfy clothes wearing my beaver fur slippers with the heat jacked up (until I get the $200 bill).

Don't get me started on the horrible gas. (yea, TMI) Good thing the doctor wrote a note saying that I'll be frequently visiting the bathroom.

I'm totally complaining, aren't I?

I'm so happy that I'm pregnant and seeing that little baby will make it all worth it. I just have to keep telling myself that when my bladder's about to explode from all the water I'm supposed to be drinking.

12 week belly shot

Well, with week 12 starts a new weekly tradition -- the belly shot. It's sticking out but mostly I look fat.

Holiday traditions

Is it secure?
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

We spent a good part of the day hunting for the perfect Christmas tree west of Sunriver. We found an awesome spot a few years ago and just by luck, found it this year again. As fun as finding your own tree is, it can be a complete pain in the ass. It wasn't so much a pain because we had friends with us and then went and warmed up at the Owl's Nest at Sunriver Resort.

We came home and decorated our tree for the holiday. After hacking and trimming away at it, our tree was perfect. I also purged some of my holiday decor. I wish someone would have told me that spending all that money on Winne the Pooh ornaments would be a waste someday. I don't even want to hang them up. I'm so over Pooh.

Click here to see the rest of the photos from the day.