Friday, October 29, 2010

Losing a little part of you

[caption id="attachment_928" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Grandma Marie at my wedding"]Grandma Marie and I [/caption]

I've been noticeably absent from my other blog and this one. Two weeks ago, my grandma took a nasty spill down the stairs and ended up in the ICU. After talking to my aunt and some coaxing from my dad (this is not his mother, it's my mom's mother), I took an unexpected trip to Nebraska. I'm now glad I did end up making that trip as she passed away the day after I got to Omaha. Losing my grandma has been really hard and though she told us to never cry ... she lived a long 86 year life with her 5 children, 13 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren ... I find myself each day grieving and hurting. It happened so fast I guess maybe I'm in shock.

My grandma was like my second mom. I always looked up to her as her priority was her family. She didn't care about material things as they didn't make her happy. When my parents divorced, my mom went back to work and my grandma and grandpa took care of me during my kindergarten year, in the summers or if I was sick. When my mom died, she took it hard and she never got over it but she continued to be there for my brothers and I.

I thought about spending the month of November telling stories like I did about my mother but I'm not ready yet. Each night, I'm exhausted and just don't have the energy. I know with losing my mom, that it will get better but for now, I just need a little space. I know you'll understand.


Amy said...

Shannon, I just read your post and it made me cry. I can relate! My grandma lived to be 85 but died suddenly. She too was a second mom. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I love to tell my 5 yr old stories about her. Even though your Ben is a bit younger, tell him about her.... Don't let her be forgotten. Again, I'm so so sorry for your loss.

Ells said...

Aw crap. Hang in there, take the time you need. Don't be afraid to grieve, but don't be afraid to be happy, either. Sometimes, I find that I love someone so much I beat myself up for not thinking about it every moment, when it's OK to be in the moment.

Here's hoping for healthy healing. Glad you got to see her before she moved on.

jim said...