I didn't post this so you'd feel sorry for me

Today I ventured to the local shopping area to look at maternity tops. I don't intend to buy any tops for another two weeks but I just wanted to see what was out there. We don't have too many maternity options in Bend -- maybe three places. So while I looked, another girl was with her mom looking for a winter maternity coat. Her mother was really cute, giving her jacket after jacket. to try on I began reflecting on how my own mother would act. I even thought to myself "gee, if that was my mother, she'd buy the coat for me." She was just that kinda mother.

Usually, reflecting on my mom wouldn't upset me but being hormonal, it did. I came to turns with my mother's untimely death years ago. I don't cry over my mom's death. After 12 years, tears are just wasted because there is nothing I can change. I watched the mother and daughter and felt really jealous and then the mom bought the winter coat for the daughter. I had to get out of there.

Just to be blunt, it royally sucks that my mom isn't here to help or answer questions. I have aunts I can call or friends I could ask but nothing can compare to your mother. I know everything will be ok but it can't I just how bad it sucks.

I think I'm done with my rant.

ANYWAY, I did find two pairs of J. Jill Wearever pants on sale that will come in really handy over the next few months. My boss won't have to question my fashion sense.

Forget decorating the house, there's a baby on the way

Today I’m feeling surprisingly good. No upset tummy. No near vomiting episodes. Just tired with a sore chest (probably TMI but who cares, this is my blog). Of course, the worries all start because some women believe that no more morning sickness is a sign of that dreaded m word I won’t type.

ANYWAY … I love my husband. He’s creative and funny. I’m creative but more reasonable one of the bunch. When he found out we were having a baby he exclaimed that he was going to paint the room for the baby. I was hoping he would want to wait but when I went to Omaha to visit family, he practically dropped me off and the airport and headed to Lowes to pick out a color. When I got home, first thing I did was run into the room to see the color he wanted to surprise me with. It’s yellow or cocoa butter to him. He had this grand idea to paint a mural which I quickly squashed. My reason was more because I don’t want to have to paint the room before we sell our. We settled on white chair rail and either a lavender or blue for the lower half. Instead of painting a mural, I’m going to buy him some canvas and paints and he can paint his heart out for the baby.

I want the general theme to be sun, moon and stars. I already have wall art from my Nebraska home (it was the theme in my old bedroom). I like this crib set but it won’t work for a boy. It looks girly. My husband isn’t too keen on the sun, moon, stars theme but I think he’ll warm up to it.

I did find a crib and changing table on IKEA. I told myself no ordering until after Jan. 1. Spending money for me is like pulling teeth since I like to save but I don’t think I’ll mind getting the baby some things.

I need to find more ways of including my husband. Anyone have other ideas?

Kudos to me

Yay! I went to the gym and I feel great! I worked out on the elliptical for 30 mins. It was tough but I got through it!

So while working out I thought about the hopes and dreams I have for Lil Berger. I hope Lil Berger isn't a fussy baby that sleeps through the night and that she/he is a happy baby.

Off to relax after my workout.

No whitty title. I might just throw up my lunch

Most women experience morning sickness at weeks 6-7. I thought I was getting off the hook until this morning at work. I felt like I was going to lose my morning bagel. Since I worked part of the weekend, I headed home at noon to take a nap. I really needed to eat something. Normally, I watch what I eat -- veggies, fruit, protein and whole wheat. You know what I had for lunch -- a KFC Popcorn Chicken Bowl and a KFC biscuit. This would be something I would never put in my mouth. Guess what -- it made me feel better until now. I feel the same way. Let's see if ginger ale calms the stomach.

Not feeling too attractive, either. My clothes, esp my pants aren't fitting. Mostly because of bloating. My eye brows are out of control and my contacts are bugging me so I'm wearing glasses. I think that on my day off after Thanksgiving, I'm going to clean out my closet and put away the maternity clothes my friend gave me. I have about 20 pairs of pants but only a handful of tops.

It's a gloomy day in Bend. The gloomy weather forced me to turn up the heat and take a nap with the dog on the couch. I think it's about time to take another. I'm falling asleep. Ain't pregnancy grand?

I'll have a virgin margarita please

I'm into ordering virgin drinks. Since I am not drinking my usual wine because of the pregnancy, when my husband and I go out to eat, I'm ordering drinks that contain no alcohol but look like adult beverages. I was craving a Red Cactus Margarita last week and settled for sweet and sour mix on the rocks sans the tequila. It was tooooo sweet. Yes, Miss Sweet Tooth says it's too sweet. There was no such thing in my vocabulary before this pregnancy.

This is week 9 (well, 9 weeks, 2 days. I've heard my embryo size is over an inch or the size of a grape. On Friday, my Lil Berger will be a fetus, reaching the 10 week mark! YAY! My husband and I will be celebrating by taking a quick trip to one of our favorite spots -- Camp Sherman, OR. We always rent a cabin in the middle of Ponderosa Pines along the Metolius River in the fall. What do we do for fun? Play cards, watch movies by the fire, take a hike -- plan and simple -- we relax. No phone coverage, no computers -- just the husband, dog and I. Since this is an annual tradition, next year we'll be bringing baby with us.

Baby Center's activity for week 9 is start a daily ritual to connect with your baby. According to their website:

Diane Sanford, a clinical psychologist who focuses on pregnancy and postpartum adjustment, encourages women to set aside two five- to ten-minute periods a day to think about their baby. Just after waking up and before going to sleep works well for many expectant moms. During these times, sit quietly and gently rest your hands on your belly. Focus on your breathing and then start thinking about your baby (your hopes and dreams, your intentions as a parent, etc.). It's a great way to initiate the bonding process and to help you plan for the kind of parent you want to be.

So what are my dreams for my little "grape?" Since I've seen this activity, I've found myself daydreaming about Lil Bergers life (mainly because I fall asleep on the couch and then sleep walk to the bed). I dream about how strong and healthy my baby is growing inside me. I dream that my baby will be smart and beautiful. I dream that my baby will grow up to be a successful doctor, attorney or engineer. I dream that we're a close knit family. I think about family vacations and my Lil Berger playing with cousins. I could go on and on and on about this but I will keep some things to myself.

Morning sickness is starting to subside. For the first time in over a month, I walked to dog. We were both pooped after our 3 mile walk. I plan on going to the gym tomorrow and looking into swimming classes at our local pool. I want to be healthy during this pregnancy. I guess I'll start with exercising and then maybe the eating healthy thing will fall into place (after morning sickness subsides).

Now, off to watch the Simpsons and drink my Peligrino over ice instead of a glass of wine.