Sunday, February 8, 2009

Bee positive

Benjamin got this singing bee from his Auntie Tasha for Christmas. It says the cutest things like "Bees go buzz. Buzz, buzz buzz." I often find out myself getting what this bee says in my head. It's annoying at times. Just ask my co-worker as I've told her about this bee over and over. He is a little interested in it but mostly he has been into investigating the house. Who knew the best toy would be the door stopper, chasing the cat or dog?

Back to the singing bee. Before I had Benjamin, I was pretty happy and positive. If I really wanted to accomplish something, I worked on visualizing and thinking that "no" was never the answer. Well, all that has changed since being a mom. I find myself doubting myself -- not just as being a mom but being a good wife, friend and being a good colleague. I don't visualize anymore. I don't think positive thoughts when I find myself thinking negatively. WTF has happened?

I recently started to eat healthier and exercise. I'm also visiting a nutritionist monthly which helps me stay on track. In Bob Greene style, I'm taking it all in slowly. I started with eating healthy and then added exercise and then each week either added another day of exercise or 10 mins. I'm feeling great though I haven't lost any weight, I've lost an inch which feels good. One thing that has helped are these mp3s from iTrain which help you stay motivated and focused and really push you hard to get sweating. They also keep you positive. Then I got thinking, maybe when I'm mad about something (baby wakes up at 4 a.m. and won't go back, I start thinking positive. The past few nights, he's gone back to sleep as I rock him thinking positively.

I also HATE watching the news as of late. The economy this. The economy that. No wonder I'm a grump. Blah! You know what -- let's all start thinking positively. Maybe the economy will turn around sooner? Just a thought.

Benjamin is weaned. I'm not looking forward to the next week at all but I'm suspecting I'm not producing enough because when I try to feed him at night he won't eat and then won't go back to sleep so I just get a bottle out and that usually does the trick. I have to admit, I cried last night at 4 a.m. while rocking him to sleep. I miss nursing, more than I thought but I'm also happy to start wearing non-nursing bras and taking tequila shots (umm, kidding).

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