Losing a little part of you

[caption id="attachment_928" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Grandma Marie at my wedding"][/caption]

I've been noticeably absent from my other blog and this one. Two weeks ago, my grandma took a nasty spill down the stairs and ended up in the ICU. After talking to my aunt and some coaxing from my dad (this is not his mother, it's my mom's mother), I took an unexpected trip to Nebraska. I'm now glad I did end up making that trip as she passed away the day after I got to Omaha. Losing my grandma has been really hard and though she told us to never cry ... she lived a long 86 year life with her 5 children, 13 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren ... I find myself each day grieving and hurting. It happened so fast I guess maybe I'm in shock.

My grandma was like my second mom. I always looked up to her as her priority was her family. She didn't care about material things as they didn't make her happy. When my parents divorced, my mom went back to work and my grandma and grandpa took care of me during my kindergarten year, in the summers or if I was sick. When my mom died, she took it hard and she never got over it but she continued to be there for my brothers and I.

I thought about spending the month of November telling stories like I did about my mother but I'm not ready yet. Each night, I'm exhausted and just don't have the energy. I know with losing my mom, that it will get better but for now, I just need a little space. I know you'll understand.

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My little drummer

I think we have the next Kotche in our living room.

Fig galette

First time baking a galette (or slab pie) and using figs! Can't wait to take a bite!

You know it is fall when...

You bake a fresh apple pie with cheddar crust.

Stay at home week

[caption id="attachment_904" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Fish pond at High Desert Museum"][/caption]

Lil B's pre-school (like many) takes a summer break in August. Instead of scrambling and trying to find childcare, I took the week off to spend some much needed mom and son time together. It also collided with our yearly trip to the Oregon coast which we take with some dear friends.

The week before the vacation, I was obsessed with finding stuff to keep us busy in Bend then we went out of town and that went out the window. When we got back, I just decided to go with the flow.

Wednesday morning of that week, after breakfast, we drove to the Fall River Fish Hatchery. I was shocked I didn't know about this place but I guess you learn things even 7 years of living in Central Oregon. Lil B loves fish. It was one of his first words. He loved the Oregon Coast Aquarium and I knew he would love this fish hatchery.

When we got there, the ranger was stocking the storage shed with fish food. He gave us a complimentary heep of food and we sat down and fed the fish. We have never explored the Fall River area so I'm vowing to go back soon to at least take a nature walk. A fly fisher nearby noted Lil B's excitement for fish and let him reel in a small one. His eye were so big when the fish came out of the water.

After we got back to town, we headed to the park and had lunch. When we got home, it was nap time. I will probably jinx myself by saying this but Lil B is a great napper. 99% of the time, he will sleep for three hours or more which gave me plenty of time to myself. I mostly worked on my blog and catch up on some reading during his naps that week.

Later that week, we ventured to the High Desert Museum but I soon discovered after paying $15 that maybe this was not really age appropriate place for my child. He mostly watched the indoor and outdoor fish and screeched at the birds when they screeched (his father taught him that).  He couldn't read the "don't make noises" in the bird area sign but I did and we headed to the park.

I really enjoyed my week off with him. I wished that I was a stay at home mom and I had this awful guilt about working.  At the same time, I know deep down that I would go out of my mind at home and that he's learned so much since starting pre-school that the guilt went away by Monday morning.

Our favorite activity at 27 months

I am mastering building train tracks for Lil B. The simple tracks last longer as the can't break so easy.