You may recall I was interviewed by the Bulletin in October 2008 about being a new mother that had returned to work recently. In the article, I had told the reporter my mother was a single mom and I wondered as an adult – “how did she do it?” because I couldn’t ask her today since she died when I was 21 years old.
I’m the bread-winner – not by choice. My husband was laid off in Cascade Healthcare Community’s mass lay-off in February. As I have said before, he’s talented and has made his career as a multi-talented marketing professional – strategist, designer, writer. In these times, those jobs are hard to find and we’ve gotten by on freelance projects here and there plus unemployment benefits and my income.
This has taken a toll on my health as I’m trying to do it all – breadwinner, working mom, wife, clean the house, do the shopping, make the dinner – you get my point. In July, I had a panic attack at work. Not my finest professional moment that only two people saw. I haven’t had panic attacks in over 10 years. As I waited for the doctor to see me, I couldn’t figure out the source. My blood pressure was elevated and I had to monitor it for week until I saw my regular doctor who told me what I already knew – I needed to exercise, cut out salt. If I dropped 10-30 lbs, my pressure would go down. Three months later I came back 5 lbs lighter but everything was still high. She ordered me to keep running, watch my diet and come back in three months unless I started to have certain symptoms – tight chest feeling, headaches. And then those started happening. As of yesterday, I’m blood pressure meds temporarily. I can not run for a few weeks since part of the problem was my heart rate was too high while running causing me to have even worse symptoms. I can walk and do light exertion but no running. Boo. Never thought I would be sad about that.
I feel like an idiot as my doctor figured out why my pressure was high before I did. I’m doing too much. I’m not taking time for myself (which is why I haven’t posted this much this week. The pressure was driving up my blood pressure as well).
My husband and son need me to be healthy. I need to be healthy myself. I need to ask for help. So my husband is now on board with doing things around the house. I need to realize that they may not be up to my standards but at least he’s helping.
I don’t know how my mom did it all plus go to school and then help my step dad launch a construction business. She was truly a super mom.