Grandpa and Ben

Grandpa and Ben
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

My dad came to visit this week and I wasn't sure what to suspect. What I was most excited about was someone on my side of the family meeting Ben. When my dad walked into the RDM airport, there I was waiting with Ben wearing the Prudoe Bay t-shirt my dad sent from where he works. I held back tears and so did my dad. Ben, of course, was all smiles.

Having my dad visit made me realize that Ben does look more and more like me than I realize. I can't see it when I look at him but in pictures, I totally see it. Poor kid!

We had a good visit from my dad. We did alot of eating, shopping and just general chatting. My dad had to bring up the fact that all I would complain about was how there were no baby photos of me because I AM the middle child.

Today my dad was playing with Ben and it reminded me of when I was little. It brought a tear to my eye.

Traveling with baby

Now that the cat is out of the bag (meaning Ben's AZ grandma has found out we're visiting) I can talk about gearing up for air travel with Ben at the end of October. This scares the crap out of me and it's only a short 2.5 hour flight. We're lucky that my SIL has a child one year older than Ben so we'll be borrowing items like a car seat and pack n play. My anxiety is more of breaking his routine which we're trying to set right now.

At our well baby check up today we talked about our concerns. I think his eyes are funny but I'm the only one he thinks this (including the day care provider) but instead of dismissing it, our pediatrician is going to calm my fears and have it looked at by a local ophthalmologist. Ben's lopsided head is better and he now weighs 12.5 lbs. I swear he should be bigger but everyone says it's normal. We talked about starting rice cereal soon (I think we'll do this in two weeks) and crying it out (which we won't do for a few more weeks). He is consistently averaging in the 10th percentile so he's a little small. Our pediatrician commented on how Ben is really strong so I'm really going to focus on putting Ben more on his tummy while at home.

The lack of sleep is getting to me. My husband has decided to start feeding Ben around 11 p.m. at night to see if he'll sleep longer and not wake us up. We've debated about supplementing with formula but only until we have to. I just feel guilty about work and being a mom. I feel I'm not doing the greatest job at both so after expressing this, he wants to step in and help. Thanks, Brian!

The real deal on being a mother part deux

I would like to preface that I LOVE my son but I feel the need to write this post so please bear with me

Here I go again with another one of "those" posts. Maybe I should write a memoir? Oh wait, I'd have to spell correctly and actually proofread (which you may have noticed I HATE to do).

What is bothering me so much? I'm depressed. I don't have actual postpartum depression but I am depressed -- about my weight, that is. And here in lies photographic evidence:



At the end of my pregnancy, I had gained over 50 pounds, most of which was water weight. Right now, I'm 10 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight but my wedding ring doesn't fit. My shirts are TOO tight (my chest area, HUGE) and my mid-section is a little stretched and doughy. I don't feel sexy. Work clothes shopping was a drag. The issue is I have no time to work out and I can't diet because I'm breastfeeding. The good news is I'm one size away from where I started but even THAT wasn't a good weight. I must face the fact -- I have let myself go and well, that's sad.

So how do I get back to where I want to be? Simple -- exercise and eating right. That means I make time to exercise. Yes, that will take time away from Ben but will had time onto my life. I must eat better. Though I can am supposed to eat an extra 500 calories, that doesn't mean I can eat nila wafers and frosting or a bowl of ice cream with marionberries and chocolate.

So, what's the plan? I have a few options. First, maybe I should post something each Sunday -- I mean, not just say I'm going to but really post something about what I did the week before. As for exercise, I really like the Body Pump classes at my local gym and I also have two pairs of roller derby skates in my closet. I could join the recreational derby league of the Renegades of Oregon again and skate twice a week for cardio (Body Pump is cardio and weights combined). The schedule works for me since Ben goes to bed about the time practice starts.

That is as far as I have gotten. I CANNOT JOIN STROLLER STRIDES. Please don't post that in my comments as I will be working starting next week. If you have any ideas, let me know. I'm almost going to go as far as maybe posting my weight and inches measurements.

I'm hoping that by losing some weight, I'm going to feel better about myself. I am so in love with my baby though. I don't regret having him because I know I have the keys to my health and I need to stop making excuses and JUST DO IT ALREADY!

Now is your cute photo of Ben for the day via my new Blackberry Pearl...

Sleeping babies

Last night was rough. It wasn't as bad as the first week or so but imagine being woken up every two hours to crying. Ben usually goes to bed around 7:30-8:30 and will usually wake about 1 am to eat but last night he only slept until 11 p.m. and then proceeded to wake up every two hours. I tried not to feed him but it's what he seem to have want. That kid is such a barracuda at times. I was tired this morning and for once, when he napped, I napped.

Fast forward to his afternoon nap -- the one he takes every day from about 12:30 - 3 p.m. I'm in the other room making lunch when I hear my husband over the baby monitor. He claims Ben was crying but I didn't hear anything over the monitor. I used to make this mistake until I read an article about newborn sleep patterns and how they whimper and move and make tons of noise when sleeping. I would rescue Ben when he was just going into the next sleep pattern.

Here is a good article by Dr. Sears.

Now, off to try to salvage Ben's afternoon nap.

Father's day

Hopefully by Father's Day next month I have a baby in my arms. The planner in me knows that I better start thinking now for what to give my husband but I can't really think of anything. For his birthday, which is in July, he's asked for music stuff (no surprise there) but I want to get him something special for his first Father's Day and not anything music related.

If anyone has any ideas, drop them in the comments. For Mother's Day, he bought me a digital photo frame for when I go back to work.

I've been feeling great the past few days. Still lacking in the sleep department but my body seems to be getting used to it.