What joy! What personality!

Someone told me last night at an event that 6-7 months is when you really see your child's personality. Ben is definitely aware of the world. He spends his day rolling around the floor, giggling at the dog and going crazy for solid foods. Lately, his favorite thing is the Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer his grandma bought him for Christmas or his monkey (The Dude). I thought I had this mom thing down months ago but it's easy to figure out what he wants. Lately, he wants the drops in his mouth that sooth his teeth. He'll be fussy and when I whip to bottle, he gets quiet and opens his mouth. He is not fond of sitting up. He last a whole 30 seconds and topples over.

Ben's sleep is better. It was going pretty good for a while and when he started solids and teething he started waking up every two hours it seemed. Most of the time if I snuggled with him, he'd fall asleep. Other times, he needed a diaper change but lately he's been sleeping 8 p.m. to 5 a.m. He is more than capable of falling asleep on his own. Most of the time, he goes in the crib, rolls around and then falls asleep with in a half hour. He doesn't cry and I think he secretly enjoys his time to himself.

This month, we're thinking about goals for 2009. More about that in the upcoming weeks. Until then, I will watch the snow fall and enjoy the lights from our Christmas tree and feel blessed that I have such a beautiful baby boy.

Viva la revolution

Months ago, I posted a message on Twitter asking for cool father's day ideas for my husband. Jen suggested I get Brian a handmade mug with Ben's handprint on it from Mug Revolution. I've heard of Mug Revolution before mainly from all the COWPU people talking it up how great it was and how it was one of the best SEO websites out there. I contacted Owen the week Ben was born (remember, it was a surprise he was born three weeks early) and I never made it over to get the kit to make the hand print. I went back to work and I completely forgot about it.

Fast forward to this week. I log onto Twitter and see Mug Revolution has a Twitter handle. So, I make Owen from MR my fellow tweet and then add to my to do this "get Brian's mug made." Then out of the blue, Owen sends me a message. He sees that his new tweet contact is a blogger so he offers to make me a handprint mug.

Today, we went and met Owen to stamp Ben's hand. He's a pretty cool guy! He makes these mugs full time -- lucky for him, it's what he loves to do. So after a little tour of his studio and get to know you chit chat, we get down to the business of getting a clay stamp of Ben's hand.

1. you get the clay soft by working it with your hands.


2. you make it the shape of a pancake and set it on cardboard.


3. you sandwich the clay between two pieces of carboard to smooth it out.

4. guide the hand onto the play and press (this is a two person job and the clay is non-toxic)

and here is his print....


Owen makes these for people all over the country and even for animals. You can buy kits and do it yourself and send it to Owen and get a mug with your child's handprint on it!!!

If I would have thought of it, I would have made one with Zach's paw print before he died. Owen gave us an extra kit to try on Charlie the dog.

When the mug comes, I'll be posting it for the world to see. Stay tuned!

Giggly baby!

Our lazy Sunday included a walk up the butte, (Ben's) three hour nap, comfort food, Mad Men and a lot of giggling ...

Time flies

I can't believe it's already Thursday? Can you believe it? The week has flown by and my little boy is getting cuter and cuter and changing. He can roll over (though I have yet to see this feat -- I've just been told) and today I caught him looking at his hands in amazement. I'm counting down the hours until the weekend because we will have three days off!

Going back to work is KILLING me. I didn't think it would be this bad. Work is OK but missing my baby -- it's bad. The thing that makes it bad is Ben is officially falling asleep at 6:30 p.m. This is good and bad, I guess. Good because I have me time. Bad because I find myself staring at him to wake up.

My dad is visiting at the end of September. He is giving me a day at the spa (well, not just me but his wife and himself too). I'm so excited for him to meet Ben too.

I have tips and products to update so keep checking!

Tip for expectant mothers #1

If you're heading back to work and need a pump, check with your health insurance provider as they might pay for a hospital grade breast pump (as mine did). Be sure your OB/GYN codes the prescription correctly so you won't be billed either.

My new Medela pump is awesome! It's working like a charm. I've also starting taking more Fenugreek and have been eating oatmeal once a day as well.

I'm nervous for tomorrow as my day starts with a 2 hour staff meeting. Ran into the CEO of our company at breakfast and he's happy I'm coming back. That made me feel really good!

Baby blood bath

I did something this morning which I'm hearing is a right of passage for a new mom. I cut my kiddo with the baby nail clippers. Boy, was it a blood bath and tearfest as I sat on the floor of his room and held him and cried along with him. I feel horrible for doing this and it's bad but I guess I could do a lot worse to him.

Next time, I will file the nail. The clippers are thrown away so I never do such a horrible thing again.

We ( I mean "I") survived

I knew that dropping Ben off to day care would be hard but as I watched him sleep in bed this morning, I cried at the thought of someone else besides me spending the day with him. I even cried while he was eating this morning. I cried as I drove off after dropping him off.

As advised by my good friend Alissa, I made myself busy today. I cleaned most of the house. I went through Ben's clothes to resell to Stone Soup and send off to Keely. I shopped for work clothes, which was not fun and ruined my self-esteem, but hey, I will work the weight off. May take a while but I will! I even went to Bambini to scoop out BPA free bottles because mine are not BPA free (no clue why I'm freaked about this NOW! and not ya know a while back).

In the end, we survived. When I walked in, he was about to fall asleep in the bouncy chair. When he heard my voice he instantly smiled which melted my heart.

When I got home, I held him close. Boy, I missed him. You'd think a whole day away getting things done would be great, which it was but I can't describe how much I missed him. Did I tell you I missed him?

He was hungry. He's not fond of the bottle though he did drink 2 oz every two hours. After 45 mins, he was fast asleep for his afternoon nap, in fact, he's still asleep, two hours later. I hope he's not out for the night!

In two weeks, I'll be back to work. It was fun while it lasted. Now, back to finish my list of yard work, bathroom cleanings, oil changes and window cleaning.

Thank you

I want to thank everyone for the comments of encouragement and help. Instead of writing everyone back (like I have time) this is your thank you. The old me would sent everyone hoops and yo yo thanks e-cards but I just don't have the time or energy. I had a baby who slept from 6 p.m. to 3 a.m. and then decided he wanted to stay up (he didn't sleep the whole time -- he woke up at 9 p.m. and midnight). Luckily, Brian figured out he was still hungry and he was back to sleep until 6 a.m. I wish he wouldn't have figured it out 90mins later.

You offers of help are noted and I will take everyone up on it soon. I have a babysitter for the most important event of the year (besides Ben's birth) -- THE WILCO SHOW and Beck too. Momma's not gonna miss Jeff Tweedy rocking Bend. When I need a night out with my husband, I'll hit the rest of you up too.

I am glad that it's normal to have those feelings and I'm glad I shared them. Internet readers, you're the best.

The real deal on being a mother

I would like to preface that I LOVE my son but I feel the need to write this post so please bear with me

I knew being a mother was hard but what I didn't know was that it is a lot harder than I thought. At 10 weeks, I feel like I have a handle on Benjamin but in the back of my mind, I know he will change. Before I had him, I talked about all the walking we'd do along the river (we did this once), all the lunches we'd go on (we did this once), all the napping I'd do when he naps (hardly ever), how clean my house would be (I cleaned it 8 weeks ago and it's a total mess right now), how we'd go to the Farmer's Market each week (went twice). I had no idea how hard it would be to get a baby to sleep (thank you sleep books!). The things that have been easy have been those I thought would be hard ... diaper changing and breastfeeding.

Point being, I thought I'd be able to do a lot of stuff in which I haven't. I was going to start the South Beach Diet but since I'm breastfeeding, I have this hardy appitite and there is no point in dieting just eating healthy (fruits, veggies, lean protein, whole wheat). I can't make it to the gym because I can't go during the day and by the time Ben is in bed, it's 9 p.m.

The reason why I'm writing this is that I had a total meltdown on my husband last night. Yesterday was exhausting. I had some friends over and Ben didn't want to sleep but at the same time he did want to sleep. I finally got him down for a nap around 3 p.m. only for the dog to wake him up 15 mins later (is it a cruel to want to buy a bark collar?). On Wednesdays, my husband has a standing thing. He only missed his standing thing once in the past 10 weeks but yesterday after Ben wouldn't go to sleep last night, I asked him to stay home because I was exhausted! My husband was a little upset about this and sorta pouted about it and then I had my meltdown. My hobby right now is Ben. He eats 8 hours a day! That is what I signed up for and I haven't been able to fix my hair (good thing I have a haircut that looks good without fixing) or put make up on in 10 weeks. I am one size away from fitting into clothes and well, I don't have anytime for myself or alone time with my husband. Of course, my husband felt really bad about the pouting and let me go to bed early.

Today I canceled coffee with a friend so Ben wouldn't miss his nap (he naps at 9 a.m., noonish and 3 p.m.ish). As much as I need human interaction right now, that kid needs his naps so he isn't overtired. I learned my lesson yesterday. Small sacrifice for my child.

Yes, I love Ben. He is truly a wonderful gift. I am grateful that I have a very involved husband too who steps in and helps because I know alot of men that don't help their wives with the baby. I am grateful for my friends who always want to help out too.

The one thing I know about motherhood -- it's ever changing and that when this little guy smiles at you at 3 a.m. when he's hungry -- it melts your heart.

Rock n roll all night ..

Party everyday!
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

... party everyday. Well, he didn't rock n roll last night -- more like for once he got a good night sleep! Let's hope this trend continues though I'm still unsure of when he wants to go to bed. Some days it's 6:30 or 7:30 or 8:30. Last night, it was 8:30.

Every Tuesday, Ben and I go to Mom's Morning at Birthing and Beyond. It's the one activity I'll leave the house for even if I'm sleep deprived or Ben is sleeping. It's a group of new moms lead by Bend's baby guru-- Anne Carlson. Anne always has the answers it seems which is why I never want to miss and will totally miss the group when I go back to work in a few weeks. I often start my sentences to my husband "So Anne was saying today that ..." Along with Anne, there are ladies and babes in arms asking the same things you've been thinking about. Today she made me feel alot better about his lopsided head. I can't seem to get him to sleep on the other side. She said her usual "well, that's normal" and "you have nothing to worry about." If you're pregnant right now and are a new mom in Central Oregon -- please make sure you don't miss Mom's Mornings!

Smiling Ben

Where have I been? Well, dealing with an all of a sudden fussy baby. I thought it was just the shots but since then he hasn't slept the greatest at night. During the day, he'll take his usual morning cat nap, afternoon long nap and another cat nap before bed. When we put him to bed at night, he'll sleep a 4 hour stretch and then wake up every 90 mins. I am hoping this passes but I am sleep deprived and well, not in the greatest mood.

Right now, he's fighting the afternoon nap he's usually 90 mins into by now. It's hard to be upset when the little guy flashes that toothless grin though.

So if I have fallen off the face of the earth, I have. I hope we get into some habit of sleeping before I go back to work three weeks from today.

He (we) survived

Ben had his 2 month doctors appointment today and survived. He is now 22 inches long and weighs over 10 lbs. He favors one side of his head so we have to wedge his head when he sleeps so it's not lopsided. His sleeping is ahead of where he should be as he falls asleep on his own with no problems or cries (it's those DHA pills I took during pregnancy) and is a healthy happy kid. He does seem to have a droopy eyelid but they're going to watch and see. Anyday now he should be sleeping longer stretches.

He also got his first round of vaccines. I'm of the mindset that kids should get vaccines. I'm not a doctor therefore I'm not going to tell my wonderful pediatrician what shots to give my kids though he did give me the option to drop one, I didn't. The shots went fast and of course, he cried but now he is sleeping like a baby in his crib since he missed his afternoon nap. We'll see if he's fussy or not. I won't take a guess to jinx myself either!

The Baby Whisperer

I was just looking and I have three books on how to get your baby to sleep. I'm a little obsessed with sleep, if you ask my husband. My most recent read is The Baby Whisperer.

One of the things the book says is to start your nightly routine as soon as the baby starts yawning. Tonight, Ben started yawning at 6 p.m. Wow, that's early. When I go back to work, I'll just be coming home meaning I won't get to see him much which makes me really sad. So sad, I cried. Ben started yawning and by the third, the bath was ready and daddy got him all clean. Then I turned on the lullabies and nursed him. He went right to sleep. So I checked on him 10 mins later, he was wide awake but calm. The book says leave them if they are crying and so I did. After 10 mins, I went back in and BINGO, he was asleep. Does this mean he fell asleep on his own? I'm unsure -- there was no jiggling involved or rocking but we swaddled him. Does that count on him falling asleep? Maybe this is a fluke.

Yes, I am sad my kid is asleep at 7 p.m. I won't see him that much and man, that sucks. I go back to work in 4 weeks and that means not much time with my child. Oy!

Night out!

For my husband's birthday he wanted to see Dark Knight which meant we had to dive in and find a sitter. Not always wanting to call on my sister in law, I called on my friend's responsible daughter to watch Ben. She has been babysitting a little girl since she was 3 months old so I decided to give it a whirl.

I was more nervous for her because Ben is a little unpredictable these days and instead of an evening movie we went early so I wouldn't have to subject her to putting him asleep. I was more afraid I'd come home and she'd say "YOU HAVE A DEMON CHILD AND I WILL NEVER BABYSIT AGAIN." Of course, none of this happened and even though I had a meltdown when I saw my cell phone ran out of battery, we all survived. I plan on calling her again soon as when I walked in the door, she was showing Ben The Dude aka Mr. Monkey and he was smiling.

Ben's sleep is not going the greatest at night. I'm looking forward to when he can fall asleep on his own or I figure out when he's calm enough to leave him in the crib and he won't have a complete meltdown and just go to sleep. I think I'm going to start trying it out with naps. The key -- learning his sleep cues.

Big toothless grins

Ben has been smiling for a couple of weeks but it wasn't until yesterday he flashed his big toothless grin during "paddy cake." It brought me to tears and bummed me out because Brian wasn't home yet. For some reason, he also smiles a lot on the changing table -- maybe he likes being naked?

Then last night while I was making dinner, he flashed that toothless grin at Brian. It brought tears to his eyes.

Since our smile yesterday, he has smiled two more times. Once at 1 a.m. when he was crying and I came in to check on him and once again this morning. I can't wait for more smiles.

Sleeping babies

Last night was rough. It wasn't as bad as the first week or so but imagine being woken up every two hours to crying. Ben usually goes to bed around 7:30-8:30 and will usually wake about 1 am to eat but last night he only slept until 11 p.m. and then proceeded to wake up every two hours. I tried not to feed him but it's what he seem to have want. That kid is such a barracuda at times. I was tired this morning and for once, when he napped, I napped.

Fast forward to his afternoon nap -- the one he takes every day from about 12:30 - 3 p.m. I'm in the other room making lunch when I hear my husband over the baby monitor. He claims Ben was crying but I didn't hear anything over the monitor. I used to make this mistake until I read an article about newborn sleep patterns and how they whimper and move and make tons of noise when sleeping. I would rescue Ben when he was just going into the next sleep pattern.

Here is a good article by Dr. Sears.

Now, off to try to salvage Ben's afternoon nap.

7 Weeks

DSC00687
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

I can not believe Benjamin is 7 weeks old. I noticed today he's holding his head up really good and he has been smiling alot more. He's on a regular schedule which I know will change. I can't believe how much he sleeps -- I bet he sleeps 18 hours a day. Is that normal for a 7 week old? My friend said her baby didn't sleep that much and I am lucky.

Tonight we are going to test out "dream feeding" at 10:30 to see if he'll sleep until 5 a.m. Wish me luck.

Things I learn at Mom's Mornings...

I love Mom's Mornings as I get to bond with other mothers. Ben is still the youngest but we had new babies today. I am going to try to continue Mom's Mornings when work starts and take an extended lunch so Ben can see his friends.

Anyway, back to what I learned. You can file this under "TMI" but did you know that coconut oil is a good natural substitute for KY Jelly (which contains the same ingredient as anti-freeze)? Me neither. This came right out of a nurse practitioners mouth too.

So now you know ...

Officially cleared

I went to my OB yesterday for my post check up. I was supposed to get the MMR shot since mine is out of date but she forgot about it. Oh well, guess I better do that soon. I have lost all but 12 pounds from being pregnant which leads both of us to believe that I was carrying alot of water because I gained 52 lbs. My blood pressure is still elevated so I need to start some sort of exercising and now I'm wondering when I can do that since having an infant is a 24/7 job. I guess I'll figure it out. Brian and I start the South Beach Diet (phase 2 -- phase 1 is too harsh on my body since I'm breast feeding) when my in-laws leave. I'm looking forward to eating more healthy.

I'm cleared to be a normal human being again. I love it how they ask "what form of birth control will you be using." Frankly, sex is the furthest thing from my mind. As me when Ben is sleeping longer at night. So many options are out since I'm breastfeeding.

I also got to cook today. I made chicken salad and French toast strada for breakfast tomorrow. My father-in-law is helping my husband install our fence so I need to make them something for breakfast. I'm finding that I can get a lot done during nap time if I have gotten more than 5 hours of sleep the night before. It's amazing that I can function on 5 hours of sleep. Amazing.

Well, happy 4th! Ben is 6 weeks old today! He is so big -- I can't believe how fast it has gone!

ps... We found a new daycare provider ... she's is awesome and Ben is one of 4 kids! He even has his own room to sleep in when he's there. I'm so thankful the other lady fell through!