Can I really be supermom?

Yesterday I worked a 12 hour day. Today might be another one as work never stops in my department esp after we're not outsourcing as much. Today I was tempted to drink a fully leaded latte just to wake up. I slept great last night with the new cool mist humidifier (that's a whole other blog post) but why am I tired? Oh yea, I'm a human incubator! Duh!

This all has me wondering -- can I be supermom? My husband won't be embarrassed that I say this but I'm the breadwinner. I'm the career-driven one in our household. I want to advance in my career. I'd like to get a MBA. Sure, he is more talented than I and could make more money than I but he wants to work 6 days a week for half of what he was paid in the corporate world. Guess what's he's happy and no amount of me pushing will get him where I'd like him to be. He has to come to that decision on his own.

Back to supermom. I'd tried my hardest to work the same pace at my job but today I'm really tired. I begin to worry. Will this reflect on advancing my career? I look at the new moms around me -- some have went part time (see above paragraph) -- others seem totally unphased by having a baby -- others are scattered. I want to be totally unphased.

Have you read the Secret? I believe in that book. It's helped my attitude over the past year. The book says if you want something, you put it out there and you'll get back what you want. I believe this booked helped me get a new job, a house and more positive friends. So if I believe I am supermom, it's mine -- right? Why am I doubting myself? I want to be the best I can at work and be the best mom and wife. I just have to believe that in my heart.

I've also been working the Secret on my baby and my mother skills, but that's a whole other blog post as well.

Now, I must head out to work. It might be another 12 hour day.

Damn BABY

I say that jokingly but I asked my doctor last week if I could go to the Sasquatch Festival (which is three weeks from my due date). She strongly advised that I do not go because of the heat and the fact the nearest hospital is 2 hours away. I joked that my physician assistant friend would be with me and she could deliver but she didn't think that was so funny.

Well, today the line-up was announced and I'm seriously bummed I was "strongly advised" not to attend.

Authorities confronted Sasquatch! and were able to wrest a cryptic note from the creature before it vanished once again into the mist. The note reads as follows: "The Cure, Modest Mouse, Death Cab for Cutie, the Flaming Lips, R.E.M., M.I.A., the New Pornographers, Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, Battles, the National, Beirut, Destroyer, Okkervil River, Built to Spill, Jamie Lidell, the Breeders, Fleet Foxes, White Rabbits, the Cave Singers, Tegan and Sara, Flight of the Conchords, the Kooks, the Hives, Grand Archives, Mates of State, Thao With the Get Down Stay Down, Rogue Wave, Sera Cahoone, David Bazan, the Little Ones, Kinski, Throw Me the Statue, the Shaky Hands," along with a few more assorted scribbles.

I know this baby is totally worth missing these fabulous acts but let's hope Les Schwab pulls in some of these great acts!

Random 24 week thoughts

The baby's room is just about done being painted. The top part is yellow, the bottom is lavender and it's separated by white chair rail. The furniture arrives this week and then the organizing will begin. My husband says it looks like something out of Real Simple magazine.

I'm signed up Lamaze, breast feeding and a baby care class. I have no idea how to bath a baby so that will be an important class. We also are pre-registering at the hospital in May.

I'm having three showers in Bend. I need to remember to tell the ppl about the cloth diapers registry once I figure it out.

I need to re-do my Babiesrus.com registry because a lot of items are unavailable to buy online now.

I'm getting the scoop on cloth diapers tomorrow though I've gotten alot of advice on message boards.

I've reached the part of the pregnancy where sleep is starting to get uncomfortable without my human boppy (the snoogle).

My doctor told me to stop wearing heels so I've investing in flats (Thank you Ross Dress for Less). I am going to miss heels. I've also bought a few items from Old Navy Maternity.com

I can't wait for this baby to get here!

Preggo and sick

Preggo and sick
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

I ran across this in Flickr today. I was 11 weeks pregnant. I can't believe today I'm 24 weeks! My animal kids will always protect me.

Apparently, biting your baby's finger is normal?

Last night, I went over to my friend's house to help while her husband is working 4 days a week in Portland. She claimed her baby was fussy and boy was she right (sorry Shawn). It may be because the father of the child is away and she senses this.". There is nothing wrong with a needy baby -- in fact, what a reassuring thing for a mother! It really wasn't that bad because Shawn knew what to do each time. It gave me confidence.

I'm digressing. That's not why I'm here. I have a funny story to tell. After the little Pig Penny was asleep, my friend and I were chatting. She went upstairs to get me something and while she was up there, Pig Penny woke up. I picked her up and we started playing. Next thing you know, the kid puts her fingers in my mouth and BAM -- I bit her on accident. Man, I felt so bad, I even cried but her mother explained, biting your kid is normal and she was shocked for about 30 seconds and then wanted to go back to sleep.

I tried to find an e-card that said "Sorry I bit your kid" but apparently, they aren't a hot commodity.

Blogger meet-up tonight

Event Info Name: Central Oregon Blogger Meet-up
Host: Central Oregon Bloggers
Type: Party - Cocktail Party
Time and Place Date: Thursday, February 21, 2008
Time: 5:00pm - 8:00pm
Location: the Blacksmith
Street: Harriman?
City/Town: Bend


Keep in mind, this is intended for bloggers who wish to meet other bloggers. This will be a nice chance for all of us to gather, and put some faces together with the blogs.

If you don't have a blog, then this may not be the get-together for you. So, if you just can't stand not being there and don't already have a blog... what are you waiting for?!

23 week ultrasound

look at my pretty face!



"I'm still a boy, Mom!"



"Here I'm practicing for the Olympics by kicking myself in the face with my foot."

LOL!

Childcare

I forgot to mention that we've secured spots at two childcare places. One is an in-home care facility and the other is a day care facility. We're still unsure if we're going to go to part time or full time which really depends on our employers. Right now both are committed to having each of us work from home one day a week but that may change (as with all corporations, changes are always happening -- you just roll with it). I'm going to wait and see what kind of baby this little guy will be before making my decision on which place we'll go with.

My employer also now has a dedicated nursing or pump room which is really cool (and now an Oregon law). I have two pumps handed down from friends and I've signed up for a breastfeeding class.

I'm also pondering why bad things happen to good people. Seems like a lot is happening to my loved ones lately and it's got me down. Most live far away and I can't do anything. I'm a believer in things happen for a reason but none of it makes sense. I've also started thinking about what child I'd like my child to be like before I go to sleep. He's going to be a good baby -- I just know it.

Now if I can stop the dog from waking me up at 4 a.m., that would be swell!

What's on my mind for week 23

I've been bored out of my mind. I sat home Saturday night and wanted to poke my eyes out. My husband has band practice and so it's just me and the dog on most Saturday nights. I think it's because I know my world is about to change and I feel the need to just get out. If Brian has practice this Saturday, I am going to just go do something.

I'm researching cloth diapers. I found out that it's actually cheaper on the budget ... $600 (including water and energy costs) vs $2000 overall AND we can save them for the next kid AND they're better for the enviroment. I think the plan is to start off with newborn disposibles and try out cloth diapers when he hits 10 lbs. That will take the stress out of being so new to parenting. I believe I'm going to register for them somewhere.

My husband refuses to let me drive our small Honda. This begs the question "Will he be like this with the baby?" Yes. I don't want to get a new car so he's going to have to live with me driving it once and a while though it would be nice to get a newer subi wagon or honda accord. Our 11 year old Civic is here to stay because it's paid for and has low miles and is reliable. Plus it's a honda and will last a million years.

I'm having another ultrasound on Wednesday! I can't wait to take a peak at the little guy!

Work on the nursery begins this week as well.

I can't believe I only have 17 more weeks to go.

Dreams

Since I've been pregnant, I'd had really vivid dreams. One dream had my husband claiming he was Jeff Tweedy. Another dream had my husband wanting to be a polygamist. Another had my friend Erin as a make up artist and I was an actress playing Anne Frank but last night's dream had a message.

When I was in Omaha, something upset me. I won't go into details but it upset me so much that I haven't been able to get over it and it had to do with my mom. Last night I had a dream where my mom and I were sitting in my living room and she told me I just needed to move on that she's here for me and I don't need material things to remind me of her. I just need to look in that baby's eyes and she's there.

What a powerful message. I had to admit I cried. I was just talking to my dad about this incident that happened and he was telling me there was nothing I could do just move on but a message from my mom -- wow.

Did you have to grab some tissue for that one?

Moving on ... I am sad to say I can't go faster than 2.8 on the treadmill. I used to do 4.0 but that would involve serious strain on myself. I'm fearing this baby weight isn't going to go off. I told my husband that I'm going to start body pump after the baby is 6 weeks old because I'm not going to be a fatty anymore but 2.8 -- that's just sad!

Happy vday!

Meet other bloggers

Central Oregon Blogger Meet-up
Feb 21, 5:30ish at the Blacksmith (happy hour, woot!), Downtown Bend
RSVP to Shannon (that's me) at shanlee at gmail.com

Keep in mind, this is intended for bloggers who wish to meet other bloggers. If you don't have a blog, then this may not be the get-together for you. So, if you just can't stand not being there and don't already have a blog... what are you waiting for?!

Random thoughts for week 22

We're interviewing our first childcare provider this week and my husband is on the defensive. He's scared to have anyone but one of us watch our baby. While each one of us are working with our employers to have one day a week at home to work, that leaves three other days of needing daycare. He'd like to stay home and work on freelance projects but I'm not sold on it completely. We'll see. He has an offer to work all summer filling in for someone on maternity leave but part of him wants to stay at his job because he likes it so much.

I feel like I'm studying for college lately with all the reading I've been doing. I've started to switch my reading from pregnancy books to being a parent books. If anyone has suggestions, let me know. I want to see what our local library has so I can get them reserved because I'm not going to buy a bunch of books unless they're highly recommended. I know am getting two parenting magazines in the mail along with my usual Sunset and Real Simple Magazine.

I'm really into eating sweets and I know have to stop. I can't stomach veggies one bit so I'm trying to switch from eating cupcakes and zingers to fruit. It's working so far. I'm still into pineapple chunks.

We are getting a lot of cool gifts and my Bend friends are prepping for a shower in April.

I'm starting to get uncomfortable though some say I don't look pregnant yet. Someone told me that I look fat rather than pregnant. I get winded easily and can't walk as fast. I'm tired by 9 p.m. and if I stand on my feet for a long time they hurt. My wedding ring is giving my finger a rash and when I get overheated, it gets stuck so I haven't been wearing it.

I've been going to deep water fitness twice a week. I'm trying to add two days of walking in. I would love to add yoga but paying $15 a week for Juniper when I have a gym membership at the Body Shop really doesn't make sense .. right?

My dad is visiting in a few weeks (we think). I should put him to work and have him put together his grandson's crib.

Not looking forward to doing the taxes though we have some big deductions with our home interest and property taxes. I am pretty sure I overpaid our estimated taxes so we'll see if we owe or have to pay in or break even. I have to remember to pay estimated April 15 for 1 quarter.

Though my best friend is moving in two months, I am reaching out to others. Bend is a hard town to meet people. I'm glad for those that have reached to me. We also should all get together and bowl more often.

I think that's enough rambling. I have reading to do and meatloaf to make (MEATLOAF SANDWICHES YAY!!!!)

Huge at 5.5 months

Huge at 5.5 months
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

This photo was taken on Saturday. Don't I look like I'm having twins?

Thanks, but no thanks

Ya know, I was told by everyone that people would just offer random advice and that I'd get highly annoyed by it. I've skipped through without much unsolicited advice but since I've started showing, the advice has started pouring in. Last week someone asked me if I was drinking decaf coffee (which I was) and then two hours later when I cracked open a Pepsi, someone tried to take it away from me. Then after I got my haircut, someone came up and lectured me on how I shouldn't be coloring my hair (which I haven't done since November). I just mostly smile and try not to act annoyed but sometimes it's hard.

Onto another topic... my birthday was on Sunday and though the day went by without fuss, it was a good day. Lil Berger blessed me with the present of my first Braxton Hicks contraction while at a Superbowl Party. At first I was a little freaked until I told my friend Shawn who explained what it was. My husband bought me a new DVD player since we thought ours was broke ... turns out the cat must has unhooked it while taking a nap behind the television so now we have a DVD player in the bedroom.

The whole birthday thing this week has me grateful for the "moms" in my life. Since my family is 1500 miles away (my dad is 3000), I mostly get calls and emails. I am grateful for my surrogate mothers -- Joey and Kathy. I showed up to work on Monday and they had presents sitting on my desk. They made the day after really special. I can't forget to thank Shawn for breakfast and the cookbook and Kina for the soap and baby things (that frog jacket is SO cute).

I'm blessed with wonderful people in my life.