I want to thank everyone for the comments of encouragement and help. Instead of writing everyone back (like I have time) this is your thank you. The old me would sent everyone hoops and yo yo thanks e-cards but I just don't have the time or energy. I had a baby who slept from 6 p.m. to 3 a.m. and then decided he wanted to stay up (he didn't sleep the whole time -- he woke up at 9 p.m. and midnight). Luckily, Brian figured out he was still hungry and he was back to sleep until 6 a.m. I wish he wouldn't have figured it out 90mins later.
You offers of help are noted and I will take everyone up on it soon. I have a babysitter for the most important event of the year (besides Ben's birth) -- THE WILCO SHOW and Beck too. Momma's not gonna miss Jeff Tweedy rocking Bend. When I need a night out with my husband, I'll hit the rest of you up too.
I am glad that it's normal to have those feelings and I'm glad I shared them. Internet readers, you're the best.