I almost forgot

... my kid made The Source this week. Try and find his cute little face.

In our house we call this "milk coma"

Kickin back with Ben
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

Sorry for the quick updates but my baby will be one week old tomorrow. It's been an amazing, tiring, sometimes frustrating week but my husband and I make a good team and he overlooks the raging hormones. (yea, it's true, they rage over the dumbest thing)

I have amazing friends. They have really been helpful with house cleaning, meals and just advice. The lactation ppl really made me feel bad the other day and my doctor told me to ignore most of what they said. I have to take blood pressure medicine over the next week because the doctor thinks excess water is why it's so high. Woo hoo water weight! I have anxiety again. I haven't had that in a while so I'm working the Secret on everything these days, being positive.

Well, off to give my baby a milk coma. Anyone have advice on what is a good way to remember which side you nursed on? I always forget!

No time for real post

Mom and Ben
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed having this kid way eariler than expected but I love him so much, I can't put it into words.

First off, my husband is amazing. He went in search of a breast feeding pillow and surprised me with one.

Friends have been coming out of the woodwork to help out. It's either food, dog sitting, giving me a nap, taking me to the store and even getting me an appointment with a dermatologist because I broke out in hives due to the fact I was allergic to the hospital gown and sheets.

Breast feeding is hard. I thought I was doing it right but the little monkey was getting too little. Now I know.

I must now master the art of putting baby to sleep at night. I think he's asleep -- just checked he is. Brian would say "go to bed" but I am not tired and I have to feed him at 2 a.m. anyways.

The whole birth story is to come someday when I am not tired or crying for no reason. I just found out today that I do I elevated blood pressure and must do something about it. No clue I had it until 10 days ago as my BP kept creeping during the pregnancy.

Well, off to bed for two hours -- I hope.

No longer knocked up

my_crib
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

I'm now a sleeped deprived new mom. I can't type long but I wanted to make a post that I had my baby on Friday. A full long post is to come but baby is healthy and happy along with dad and mom who are so in love with this little guy, we can't imagine our life without him. But we do miss sleep.

As for right now, we're not taking visitors unless you're willing to hold baby and let mom sleep. I just can't stomach entertaining much.

Until then, we'll be uploading more photos, when we have a free moment!

Father's day

Hopefully by Father's Day next month I have a baby in my arms. The planner in me knows that I better start thinking now for what to give my husband but I can't really think of anything. For his birthday, which is in July, he's asked for music stuff (no surprise there) but I want to get him something special for his first Father's Day and not anything music related.

If anyone has any ideas, drop them in the comments. For Mother's Day, he bought me a digital photo frame for when I go back to work.

I've been feeling great the past few days. Still lacking in the sleep department but my body seems to be getting used to it.

Preeclampsia? Doubt it

I've felt great all weekend. I am now thinking that it was a total fluke my blood pressure was high at my doctors appt on Friday --just as my doctor suspected it was probably because I rushed over to my appointment. Swelling has been fine if I put my feet up and not stand on them too much. Baby has been squirming around and though it was 97 degrees yesterday, my house stayed pretty cool. The thing that is killing me is my allergies which I didn't developed until I moved to Bend. This year seems to be the worst!

I did some me shopping today -- I bought a nursing tank from Angel Kisses per a suggestion from Alissa. They didn't have black in my size but I went onto their website and they have other colors so I might order two more if I really like them in other colors. I also bought gaucho pants from Target because I love them and they are way more comfortable than the capri jeans and kahkis I have and will get me through the summer as I don't do shorts.

I did go to Carters and pick up sleeping gowns so we're set for 6 months for the "little dude" as that's his new nickname. Someone bought him an outfit that reminded us of the "Big Lebowski" so now we refer to baby as "little dude" or the other new one is Brian sings "Benjammin'" like the Bob Marley song "Jammin'" all the time.

I went to the Buffalo Ranch Farmer's Market with my friend Diana today. Brian was out there playing as their entertainment. The second Brian started playing, the baby started kicking like mad -- he knows the sound of daddy's guitar. I told Brian he better learn some lullabies but until then, we'll settle on Radiohead Lullabies. Too bad there isn't a Wilco lullaby cd out there.

I am ready for this baby to come. 26 days to come.

36 weeks

I have now reached the point where I am miserable. Only going to the doctor today made me more miserable. My blood pressure was high. My swelling a concern. Talk of induction next Friday and then my OB came in and said that she wasn't as concerned as the nurse was because there is no protein in my urine but if I start getting headaches or see spots call. The remedy -- put my feet up to reduce swelling, all weekend long and have my husband take care of me. This is when panic set in. My temp started this today and though she is smart and capable, I can't throw her into my job without proper training. Next week, I will be sitting behind her, throwing her to the wolves (i.e. my job). I know I shouldn't worry about work and just worry about myself but I like my job and the people I work with so I'm conflicted.

The other thing I'm worried about ... my husband having to take care of me. I take care of myself and the house and my husband and the thought of having my him take care of me is scary. Since coming home from work, he's waited on me hand and foot and it's nice but I feel like I'm being bossy. He says don't worry about it -- he has it under control.

If my swelling gets worse over the weekend, I have to call the doctor on Monday and probably go on bedrest but we'll see. I am thinking positive that I can just make it through next week and this swelling is just normal.

Baby room photos

Changing table, quilt from Jan
Originally uploaded by Shanlee

We've been meaning to do a video of the baby's room but time keeps slipping through our fingers so here are some quick photos for all to see!

Random thoughts for week 35

* Swelling is now in full force. It's just not my feet retaining water but I'm retaining everywhere. You'd think drinking over 100 ounces of water would prevent that but no, it hasn't.

* What is healthy weight gain? 25-40 lbs according to my OB. I've gained 28 lbs. Some say I'm beautiful. Others are "concerned."

* This baby has it's lazy days like today. He didn't move one bit until I got home from work.

* My task list at work is looking smaller and smaller. My temp starts tomorrow. Yipppee. I have a ton of small busy projects to hand over.

* I locked my keys in the car today. Talk about a momnesia moment. How embarrassing?

* I wish I knew what day this baby was coming. Part of me wants to go early and other parts wishes he'd wait until his due date.

* Only 4 pairs of shoes fit. I think I'm going to go buy some Crocs. Where can I get those in Bend?

* It's going to be 90 degrees this weekend. Either I'm going to love it or be miserable.

Off to put my feet up.

Thanks Dad

I don't know if my Dad reads this but I wanted to publicly shout out to my Dad who's working in Alaska. Thank you for always giving me good, sound advice. You're the best.

Working moms

Maybe I'm just missing it but there isn't much networking for working moms in Bend. Most are focused on stay at home moms. I have thought about just coming up with my own networking group for working mothers but after thinking about it, why don't I just get through the summer and get back to work and see.

I plan on hitting Mom's Mornings at Birthing and Beyond because so many of my friends had success with it. I do have a ton of friends who have had babies in the past year as well.

So if I'm completely missing networking groups for working moms -- let me know.

Pre-registration at the hospital

On Thursday night, a very tired, swollen, grummpy, pregnant me and more tired Brian trudged to St. Charles Medical Center for our pre-registration. We weren't really looking forward to it but we thought we'd get a tour of the new Family Birthing Wing. WRONG. They show you a video which was shaky and poorly produced.

The pre-registration was more of an overview of the signs of labor, what happens during a vaginal birth and c-section along with a lot of signing your life away. They really push breastfeeding and talked about skin on skin contact alot. This is stuff you learn in lamaze.

Today I am cleaning. Nesting hasn't kicked in because I'm making myself clean. I'm thinking of hiring a lady to come in and deep clean but Brian isn't fond of that idea. My husband is installing a cat door so the cats can use their litter box which is moving to the garage. It will be nice to get our office closet back. Then Brian is going to organize the office which will become his new work space after he goes through training at his new job. It's the most embarrassing room in our house, I hate to say. When ppl come over, I shut the door.

Wow, this post was come of positive things! I'll try harder but all this practice for sleep deprivation is making me grumpy. At least my feet aren't swollen -- YET.

Why we love mom

This morning I was at working getting a latte, a treat for me since I have been chugging water for weeks, and the gals behind the counter started laughing and giggling.

Me: What's so funny?
Them: You're just going to have to read the paper?
Me: Well, lately I haven't been able to read the paper so just tell me.
Them: OK

So they open the Bulletin and there is a message from baby:

Although I’m not born quite yet, I know my mom is a wonderful mom. She’s smart, funny and pretty. She loves and cares about me and cries when she sees me on the ultrasound. I know I’m a very lucky boy to have such a warm, loving, giving mom. — Benjamin, due to be born June 13, of Bend (submitted by family friend Joey)

Thank you, Joey. Now I can't stop crying.

Dear Lil Berger,

Your grandparents are coming to visit in July -- first the Moss family will come beginning of July. Then your Grandpa Hoffman called today he's pretty sure he'll be here July 12 from Alaska. Maybe it's the hormones but for some reason I cried after I got off the phone with Grandpa Hoffman. It was quite embarrassing because I had to go to two meetings after that.

Hopefully by the time everyone comes to visit, I'll know what I'm doing :)

Love,
Mama

Good, bad, ugly

Good:
eating salads

Bad:
craving coconut creme pie

Ugly:
eating fajitas, chips and salsa and then realizing that "oh wait, I have less stomach room" after the second fajita. Sleep didn't go well last night.

I'm running out of stomach space and my cravings now are for lighter varieties of food like half a sandwich or a salad though today for lunch I had a beef hot dog, salad and cookie (the St. Charles cafeteria has the best cookies EVER).

Things to do:
* Brian is going to Entrees Made Easy to make meals this weekend. He is in charge of cooking once baby comes. This is scary and something I need to let go because I am the chef of the house.
* Clean the house. I'm thinking of getting a deep clean by a housekeeper that was referred to me.
* Finish the baby room. I still need to put stuff on the walls and Brian is going to make a video so friends and family across the country can see, esp my dad in Alaska.
* Get week by week marketing work plan done at work for my temp replacement.
* Pack bag
* Buy nursing shirts
* Find baby gowns and BPA free baby bottles
* Make call list for Brian (I did send Joey the list of ppl to email)
* Get someone to update blog when I have the baby (Jen, you up for this?)
* Finish painting our bedroom (It's half done)
* Print up baby announcement labels
* Send thank you notes (I have the last of 7 to send)

Ok, I think that is it for now. I'm tired and need to sleep.

Birth plans

Brian and I just finished lamaze. I wasn't going to take the class but my husband insisted since he thought we'd learn more than just breathing and guess what, he was completely right. The one thing it made us do was sit down and write out birth plan -- well, I didn't write it -- I went to this website and generated one. It gave us a good glimpse of stuff we need to prep like packing my bags, reading breast feeding books and getting a list of numbers of ppl that Brian can call. We're also opting to not have anyone visit us until we're home if I'm only there for 48 hours.

I'm not going to post it for the world to see but I will tell you I am opting for an epidural so I am not too worried about what position I'm going to have this baby in. Brian has been advised to be at the baby's side every min. after he's born because I won't be too mobile due to the epidural.

I'm noticing my baby is less active today. He's running out of room. I had to drink two large glasses of orange juice because it was freaking me out. It also might be because I'm moving around alot today. Once I downed the OJ, he starts his moving. Maybe he's growing and just sleeping alot? Who knows. Brian thinks I'm freaking for now reason and he's probably right.

41 days

I just went to lunch with my girlfriend Diana. We were supposed to go walk the dog but Red Robin sounded better. Her 2 year old is SO cute that I can't wait until Lil Ben is two.

So, my eating is started to get limited and I don't have to eat as much because I'm running out of room. All of a sudden, salads sound good and that's about it. I'm finally feeling the urge to eat vegetable again.

This morning I watched my belly for an hour. It seems like he likes to stretch alot in the morning and at night though kicking me in the ribs isn't too fun.

Random 33 wks, 6 days thoughts

* went to the doctor today ... she says I'm measuring big. I asked "what do we do if I have a 10 lb baby?" She said "C-section." I don't like the sound of that. She also things that maybe I'm measuring big because of all the water I'm drinking.

* I've reached the "uncomfortable, I want to have this baby now" phase of my pregnancy. I have 43 days to go. I keep thinking I have 5 weeks left but really, I have 6 weeks. My feet are swollen. I can't sleep. Acid reflux is killing me (thank you medicine). Clothes are uncomfortable.

* I'm freaking about all the organization my husband needs to do. He's not too happy about it.

* Work is busy. I must say, prepping to be away for 12 weeks is easier than I thought. They are still looking for a temp.

Must get some rest.