I'm less than a month from going back to work and well, I'm not looking forward to it. It's not because I don't like my job -- in fact, I love my job. I'm going back to a new manager and new staff and less work meaning I can concentrate more on projects instead of trying to do everything. It's all I've wanted for the past year is to concentrate on doing a better job.
Why am I not looking forward to it? Well, why do you think? I love my kid. I will miss him. I don't want to miss out on his life and things he discovers. I cried when he went to bed at 7 p.m. the other night because the reality is that his bedtime is more and more looking like 7 p.m. He is smiling more and more. He knows me when I go in to feed him at night. He will be crying over the monitor and when he sees me, he is quiet and smiles. I like to think he's thinking "yea, you can hear me!"
I was talking to the daycare provider about his sleep schedule and eating. As much as I would like to run over and feed him, it's not going to happen and I'm afraid he will start to wean himself off breastfeeding as it's happened to friends of mine. That would be really sad. I know 3 a.m. feedings sound like a pain but generally after I shake off the sleep, I enjoy our cuddly time.
So, I'm going to use the power of positive thoughts. I hope he can handle the bottle and the boob until he's at least 6 months old.